Following a Calling

I enjoy looking back in my life and seeing God's hands at work. It is no question that the blogs I read have helped change my life and God knew that this would happen all along. Around 3 years ago I stumbled upon a video. I can't tell you how exactly, I forget those details. But I don't forget how I felt after I watched it.

via youtube

Along with the video there was a link to the family's blog. I began to read along on their journey. The author talked about the organization Ordinary Hero, which her sister had began. I clicked over to their blog one day and little did I know at the time, but in a few short years I would be preparing to go to Ethiopia as well!

Between finding Ordinary Hero and deciding to go on a mission trip with them, God has led me to many other blogs that deal with international adoption. I don't know yet if that will be a part of our family's story. Let's just say God and I are having many conversations about it and Nick and I are having a few now and then :)

However reading along on these families journeys to bring their children home, all while keeping up with what Ordinary Hero does for "the least of these" was very inspiring, and was really working on my heart. What was I doing to help others? Did I feel that special, like I could really do anything that would make a big difference? No, not really. But wasn't that the whole point of the name Ordinary Hero? Yes, I am a normal wife and mom living the day-to-day routine.....but that doesn't mean God can't use me. He can use me here in the middle of that routine, and he can also use me in Ethiopia if I give a week of my life dedicated to being his hands and feet where I feel called. And as time went on it was becoming very clear to me I was being called to Ethiopia.

Combine all of this with the fact that during this time period we also became regular attenders, then members of a wonderful church after moving to a new city. We met great people, and became involved. My faith was growing like never before and I was back to reading and studying God's word. I had graduated college and was finally settling in to being a stay-at-home Mom that didn't feel like I had to split my time up between my "school life" in one city and my family life in another. We became pregnant and had Royce. It has been such a life changing time.

So when I received an email newsletter from Ordinary Hero containing their 2012 trip dates last fall, my interest was piqued. What if I just went for it? I knew in my heart God was telling me to go for it. Around that time I read this post. And my decision was made. I had seen enough pictures...read enough posts...it was time to go.

On July 5th I will board a plane headed for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and I can't wait! I will be putting together "blessing bags" as they mentioned in the Ordinary Hero blog post I linked to above. They contain an outfit with socks and underwear and a treat for a child. If you would like to be  a part of that, let me know! I want to take as many donations as possible for the little ones. If you would like to visit my trip fundraising page it can be found here.



Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27 NIV

Prayers for My Babies

I am a night owl. Most nights I am always the last one to fall asleep in our home. One of my favorite things to do before turning in for the night is to go in and check on my sleeping boys. I cover them back up if they have kicked off their blankets, kiss their foreheads, say a prayer for them....and sometimes I just stand there with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face at one of the most beautiful sights - a peacefully sleeping child. I don't ever want to forget the thoughts that go through my mind as I stare down at them, so I am recording them here.

My sweet baby boys....I don't think you can ever know how much I love you. My heart actually physically hurts with love for you. Someday you may understand when you become a parent yourself. But for now you are so innocent. I look at your chests slowly rising and falling in your sleep and think about the miracle of life. How the intricacies of the human body all work together so that we may live. I never paid much thought to that before you each grew inside of me and I experienced the miracle of human life and birth. When I stare at the two of you and remember feeling those precious first movements inside of me, I don't understand how anyone could ever question the existence of God.

Sometimes its hard for me to ever imagine either of you grown up, because that would make me....well, older. But it will obviously happen. Someday I will be tucking in tall teenage boys(and hopefully it doesn't freak you out if you wake up and happen to see me standing there crying). When I think of you each getting older I think about how you will be hurt at times. You will face challenges. I will want to run out into the big bad world and protect you from everything but I know I can't do that. Some things we have to experience and learn from on our own. Sweeties, I hope you always know you can come to me no matter what is going on in your life.

But I don't want to get ahead of myself with worry. I want to enjoy each stage. As we walk though life what seems mundane in the present becomes treasured in the past. Our day to day life while you are each young and I am privileged enough to be home with you is so special to me. That chunk of dry wall you took out of the wall the other day Carsten - don't worry about it baby boy because a house isn't a home until its been lived in. And real life with a little boy sometimes involves flying toys. Or sometimes its silly putty being mushed onto Mommy's favorite blanket. Or changing your outfit 34 times in a day because God blessed us with a very spit-up prone baby. Its okay Roycey. I'll change your clothes and do as much laundry as it takes. I just thank God you are healthy and that is the worst of your problems.

I pray about your spiritual life and how God will use your lives if you allow him to. Daddy and I will do our best to raise you, but at some point you will have to choose for yourself what path you will take and what you believe. There may be seasons of your life where you aren't close to God. I hope and pray it doesn't happen because Mommy and Daddy each had those seasons and we have come to realize it is always better to walk with Him. I pray for who will be a part of your life as you grow in school and other activities. I pray for your future relationships and the women you will marry.

And some nights I just pray you have sweet dreams. I watch you smile in your sleep. You each may be a mini-me of your father, but when you smile I can see myself in both of your eyes and the way they get very small. As the saying goes you are each a part of my heart walking around outside of my body. There will be no changing that no matter what age you are.

So I cover you...
I lay my hand on your chest...
I feel you breathe..
I wipe away my tears...
And kiss my precious babies goodnight.